Another Wedding and Another Month Closer

This past weekend Kristopher and I drove to Amarillo, TX for Bryan and Beka's wedding. I have to admit, it was small but nice and I enjoyed most of the trip. We left Lafayette on a Thursday and then drove to Dallas. We stayed the night in Dallas at our friend, Okan's place. That was pretty cool since Okan and Kristopher don't get to see each other very often living 6 hours apart. I also got to socialize with his cat, Lacy. She's a sweet cat, not as trusting right off the bat as Lucy is but she let me pretend I was with one of my pets for two nights. On our way back she even cuddled with me a little bit which was awesome.

So the next day we continue our drive to Amarillo which took... like 8 hours. I got to see a lot more of Texas on this trip. It's pretty flat... or pretty and flat. Either way on some roads there was just not much to see unfortunately. There are only so many hours I can sit back and appreciate the landscape before it all blurs together and I fall asleep. Sorry... it's true. We passed through a small town of Snyder, TX and learned that Kristopher's mom went to high school there and that in the center of town there is a white buffalo statue that she and a few friends painted green back in day during Homecoming weekend. We didn't find the statue but figured we'd try to find it on the way back home so we could take a picture with it for her. Unfortunately we changed our route on the way back so no buffalo picture for us :( However, I did get to see some of the historic Route 66.

So we get to Amarillo and check into the hotel. The beds were way to hard for my liking but some of our other friends found them just right. The A/C units were cranked to the lowest temperature possible by Bryan and Beka but unfortunately I don't think the units were able to get the room as cold as I would've liked but that's minor. The first thing I saw was a nice welcome bag from the bride and groom filled with candy, popcorn, sunscreen and... bug spray. I figured they were trying to tell us something so I ripped open the bug spray and tossed it in my tote bag before heading to their Rehearsal BBQ (it was cute and travel-sized).

We spent the rest of the night catching up with Jon, Erika and Clint and having a good time. Erika and I left for a short time to help Beka with some last-minute ribbon-tying. The next day was filled with wedding bliss. Erika had to be at the wedding site at 5:30pm and the guys had to be there at 6:30pm (the wedding was at 8pm) since they were all in the wedding party. I pretty much stuck with Kristopher (and the other groomsmen) not wanting to be alone. This of course gave me the great opportunity to take some great pictures of the goofballs. :)

I always get psyched going to a wedding. I love them. I love weddings and seeing how happy the couples are. I love the partying that comes with it... drinking, dancing, pictures, getting dressed up. I love it all.

But there's a problem. I get all excited for the wedding and at some point I always invariably get nervous or upset right before everything takes place. During the ceremonies I hear everything being said but I don't process it, protecting myself from getting overemotional. At Bryan and Beka's wedding I took several pictures during the ceremony to keep me busy and then looked away during some parts and just listened.

Their first dance was Gotta Be Somebody by Nickelback. Somehow I had gotten slightly separated from Kristopher and when I realized I was standing by myself I looked up for him. He was only a few feet away and I made sure to reattach myself to his hip. Then the father-bride dance song came on - I Loved Her First by Heartland. I got closer to Kristopher and Kristopher, very knowingly, just put his arms around and gave me a comforting kiss on the head and rubbed my arm.

That simple action said so many things: I'm here for you, it's okay, I understand, I love you, he still loves you, it's okay to miss him... I'm so glad to have found someone like him who doesn't get offended by my emotions. Sometimes I feel like it's not fair to him for me to be like that but he denies it and continues being supportive.

This wedding was particularly difficult because the months are withering away and the days are flying off the calendar and August 8, 2009 is just getting closer and closer. It's probably the cause of my latest inabilities to sleep. But...I made it through the last year I can make it through our wedding date right?