My Birthday So Far

So my birthday so far is going well. All the gifts I bought for myself from Amazon are slowly rolling in. I love spoiling myself once a year. Among the gifts are some pilots and yoga videos to help me with my new fitness routine (or so I hope it becomes a routine).

Today two of my favorite gifts so far arrived; my 3G iPad and a Crepe Myrtle Bonsai tree. I had pre-ordered the iPad a while ago as a gift from me to me so that wasn't really a big surprise although I was still excited that it FINALLY arrived. The bonsai was from a friend who lives in WA and most certainly did not need to send me a gift but he did anyway. It totally made my day. I hope I don't kill the bonsai but I am really excited to take care of it!

I've been wearing my engagement ring from Michael on my right hand the past few days. I really miss him, especially during my birthday because even though he couldn't afford to spoil me with material things; he always made my birthday special. I will never forget those years of pre- and post-birthdays; birthday songs right at midnight; cupcakes with candles in them and perfect birthday cards that always included a personal message letting me know exactly how much he loved and appreciated me.

On Sunday I am going out to dinner with my friends at Outback. I also learned that Bryan, our friend from Houston, is coming to visit and will be here for my birthday. I can't wait until he gets here!

Anyhow, that's the update for now. I'll be sure to let you all know how the rest of my birthday goes.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad


Get Fit and Get it Together

So, as usual I've neglected to keep up with my blog. Now I will have even less time as I try to get into better shape. I have started a low-calorie diet and drink more water than soda every day. I am also trying to go for a one-mile walk at least 4 times a week and have started the one hundred push ups challenge with my sister.

What brings this on you may ask?

Well, I was recently in New York for my sister's bridal shower and bachelorette party (which were TONS of fun by the way) and while I was there I had my first bridesmaid dress fitting. Yup, you guessed it, it didn't zip all the way. Now keep in mind, when I was in NY in February it zipped up just fine so who knows why this time it wouldn't. I didn't think I gained that much weight between February and April but I guess so!

In addition, I'm tired of people asking if I'm three months pregnant or talking about how I look pregnant when I'm not. I know lots of you will tell me they are crazy for even saying that I look like that but people are not always nice. Truthfully Kristopher would prefer if I didn't try losing any weight at all although he is supporting me. "As long as you're happy," he tells me. Will this make me "happy?"

Probably not. It's hard to be happy and want to improve yourself when you're still in the grieving process. That's right, it's not over. I may not show it but I'm still dealing with it. Weight gain comes with depression and also with quitting smoking and I did those things at the same time. So maybe those who criticize my weight gain can cut me some slack. One month until the 2nd anniversary of Mike's death and I'm trying my best to keep it together while being as involved as possible in my sister's wedding (because I don't want to miss a single part of it and regret it later) and take care of myself and the household.

I admit, it's not easy and most people are not used to seeing me lose it, give up or fall apart, but the pressure is hard and sometimes, I can't help it; I want to give up. However, giving up is easy and I'm not taking the easy way out. So help out or get out of my way.

Get Fit and Get it Together - My Challenge
  • stick to the new diet including fewer calories and a lot less soda (tracked using Lose It!)
  • drink at least three bottles of water a day (24 oz bottle)
  • walk at least a mile, 4 days a week (see my progress)
  • stick with the push up challenge even if I suck at it
  • get back to church regularly on Sundays
  • re-read On Grief and Grieving