4.22.2010

Get Fit and Get it Together

So, as usual I've neglected to keep up with my blog. Now I will have even less time as I try to get into better shape. I have started a low-calorie diet and drink more water than soda every day. I am also trying to go for a one-mile walk at least 4 times a week and have started the one hundred push ups challenge with my sister.

What brings this on you may ask?

Well, I was recently in New York for my sister's bridal shower and bachelorette party (which were TONS of fun by the way) and while I was there I had my first bridesmaid dress fitting. Yup, you guessed it, it didn't zip all the way. Now keep in mind, when I was in NY in February it zipped up just fine so who knows why this time it wouldn't. I didn't think I gained that much weight between February and April but I guess so!

In addition, I'm tired of people asking if I'm three months pregnant or talking about how I look pregnant when I'm not. I know lots of you will tell me they are crazy for even saying that I look like that but people are not always nice. Truthfully Kristopher would prefer if I didn't try losing any weight at all although he is supporting me. "As long as you're happy," he tells me. Will this make me "happy?"

Probably not. It's hard to be happy and want to improve yourself when you're still in the grieving process. That's right, it's not over. I may not show it but I'm still dealing with it. Weight gain comes with depression and also with quitting smoking and I did those things at the same time. So maybe those who criticize my weight gain can cut me some slack. One month until the 2nd anniversary of Mike's death and I'm trying my best to keep it together while being as involved as possible in my sister's wedding (because I don't want to miss a single part of it and regret it later) and take care of myself and the household.

I admit, it's not easy and most people are not used to seeing me lose it, give up or fall apart, but the pressure is hard and sometimes, I can't help it; I want to give up. However, giving up is easy and I'm not taking the easy way out. So help out or get out of my way.

Get Fit and Get it Together - My Challenge
  • stick to the new diet including fewer calories and a lot less soda (tracked using Lose It!)
  • drink at least three bottles of water a day (24 oz bottle)
  • walk at least a mile, 4 days a week (see my progress)
  • stick with the push up challenge even if I suck at it
  • get back to church regularly on Sundays
  • re-read On Grief and Grieving

2 comments:

  1. Keep at it! I think soon enough you should see results as your body reacts to the change and then for a little while, it'll seem like the pounds are melting off. Then from there, all you have to do is maintain it (which is much less work and effort than you are putting in now). You're doing great, but honestly, your happiness is what counts most, even if it's hard to find something to be happy about every day.

    I'm blessed to have you as a sister and I can't thank you enough for all of the advice, support and help you've given me for the wedding. Don't push yourself too hard though because you're already an important part of the wedding. :)

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  2. it's okay to fall apart. we're here to pick up the pieces and put you back together again. just never give up, cause we'll never give up on you. (:

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