What brings this on you may ask?
In addition, I'm tired of people asking if I'm three months pregnant or talking about how I look pregnant when I'm not. I know lots of you will tell me they are crazy for even saying that I look like that but people are not always nice. Truthfully Kristopher would prefer if I didn't try losing any weight at all although he is supporting me. "As long as you're happy," he tells me. Will this make me "happy?"
Probably not. It's hard to be happy and want to improve yourself when you're still in the grieving process. That's right, it's not over. I may not show it but I'm still dealing with it. Weight gain comes with depression and also with quitting smoking and I did those things at the same time. So maybe those who criticize my weight gain can cut me some slack. One month until the 2nd anniversary of Mike's death and I'm trying my best to keep it together while being as involved as possible in my sister's wedding (because I don't want to miss a single part of it and regret it later) and take care of myself and the household.
I admit, it's not easy and most people are not used to seeing me lose it, give up or fall apart, but the pressure is hard and sometimes, I can't help it; I want to give up. However, giving up is easy and I'm not taking the easy way out. So help out or get out of my way.
Get Fit and Get it Together - My Challenge
- stick to the new diet including fewer calories and a lot less soda (tracked using Lose It!)
- drink at least three bottles of water a day (24 oz bottle)
- walk at least a mile, 4 days a week (see my progress)
- stick with the push up challenge even if I suck at it
- get back to church regularly on Sundays
- re-read On Grief and Grieving